No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
tell me about the eggs
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