3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
