I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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