Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
