if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
