Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
