Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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