I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I understand Curling. That high.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
