My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
