I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
