i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
