haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
