A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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