I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
