Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
