During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
