Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize