He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
