who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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