What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
