i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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