Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
