I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
