Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
