I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize