Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
