And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just found a bag of teeth...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
