Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
