He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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