I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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