just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
