I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
