Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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