I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
