this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
