wat bout pragnant strippers??
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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