don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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