If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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