i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I look excited, but its just a facade.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
