Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
