Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
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