I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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