listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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