I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
