no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
