All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
