So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
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I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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