I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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