One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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