We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
