butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
