How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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