I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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