just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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