Operation Purity has been aborted
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I enjoy the company of your penis
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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