im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
