At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
We smell like vodka and hangover
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
