Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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