Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
