It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
