idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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