My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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